See What was posted under bridge at Ikeja

Would you call this number?

Would you call this number?

As the economic condition bites harder, I know some desperate and gullible people will. This just a reminder during this trying times the nation is in, scam artist are also trying to get the little you are managing. Be wise and use your head.

By the way, if anyone calls the number, give us a feedback. Happy Sunday

Hilarious! Compilation of the Funniest, Weirdest Reasons Nigerian Couples Divorce

Here’s a compilation of some of the funniest reasons given by couples who went to divorce court for dissolutin of marriage.

ADELANI MAKINDE, a 32 year old businessman filed for divorce just hours after his expensive wedding. ADELANI discovered that his bride, KEMI had been wearing what is known as a butt pad to augment the size of her rear.

ADELANI told an Ikeja high court that his wife’s yansh is as flat as an ironing board. “I discovered that on our wedding night. I prefer a woman whose rear is big.”

OLUWAKELE OGUNDELE divorced her husband because he often defecated in their cooking pots after getting drunk. She told Agege Customary Court (Lagos) that her husband, OLUWAFEMI gets drunk every weekend. According to her, she can no longer cope again with the 10 year marriage.

55 year old EMMANUEL ASALA told Ikare Akoko Customary Court (Ondo) to dissolve his marriage to BUSAYO because she did not bring kitchen utensils from her father’s house. “How will a woman get married without a grinding stone, tablespoons, mortar, pestle, deep freezer and even serving plates?

“She did not bring any of these to my house. I don’t think I can continue with the marriage.” These were the words Emmanuel uttered in court. He even prayed the court should order Busayo to return all the things he listed because he bought them with his money.

Couple so

ADETIRE ADEBOLA, a 40 year old carpenter told an Ikeja high court (Lagos) to dissolve his marriage of five years because his in-law often intervened when he is beating his wife.

“She is a stubborn woman. They don’t want me to teach her a lesson. I don’t like it when her people stop me from beating her. It is either they take their daughter or allow me put sense into her head”, was what ADEBOLA told the court during the proceeding.

SOJI IBRAHIM, a 35 year old trader ended his marriage of two months to RASHIDAT because she has small boobs.” It was her boobs that attracted her to me. I met her when she came to buy pepper from me. I couldn’t take my eyes off her big boobs.”

Ibrahim was shocked to discover his wife had been using artificial boobs after getting married to her. “Her boobs are small as Agbalumo (cherry)”, he said. “I detest those small size boobs. It is better to end the marriage.”

EJEMBI TONY and RACHAEL ended their five year marriage because of shoe odour. RACHAEL filed for divorce at an Igando Grade II court (Lagos) because her husband’s shoes smell a lot. After enduring and seeking solution to the problem, Rachael opted out of the union that produced three kids.

ADERIBIGBE ALLEN and SANDRA‘s marriage of one year hit the rocks after Allen filed for divorce in Oluyole Customary Court (Oyo) because he was tired of sharing house chores. “We agreed on how to do the house chores but I am tired of washing unending plates piled up in the kitchen.

“I regret marrying her and agreeing to share house chores. She is just too lazy.

Couple

EMMANUEL OBAFEMI and BIDEMI did not come to terms and their marriage eventually hit the rocks. According to Emmanuel, his wife is fond of flatulence at any point in time, and it smells horribly. He told an Igando customary court to dissolve their marriage because he can no longer cope with the habit.

MERIT ADAMS, a 29 year old entrepreneur decided to end her marriage after stumbling on her husband, Alex’s facebook page. According to her, Alex wrote that he is single on his facebook page. So, she wants to grant him his wish.

TOYIN ADISA, a 32 year old man was divorced on the grounds that he wouldn’t watch football match again. His wife, ADIJAT said she has been given black eye twice because her husband’s team lost in a football match.

She prayed the Agege (Lagos) court to dissolve the marriage because of this habit.

ADEBISI JADESIMI divorced her husband of two years because he is fond of wearing female undergarment, especially pants. “It is unbelievable that we share pants. He wouldn’t wear boxers even if you threaten to kill him, he prefers female pants.

“How would a man be wearing woman’s pants”, she narrated her ordeal to Alakuko Customary Court (Lagos).

Culled from sugardaily.ng

TAWA HEADS BACK TO VILLAGE-LWKMD

TAWA HEADS BACK TO VILLAGE

My Dia Moda,
How are you? I hope you in the good kondishon of healt and hope efriting is fine in the fillage. Mama I know oyibo sef talk am sey mother knows best but this wife wey you pick for me no go do! I know sey you don spend plenty on dowry but she no act reach for wetin we pay for am. Effa since she enta house na soso wahala and complain.She reach here finish and her goat begin follow dog waka. First ting she wan do be say make I find am oyibo name because none of her friends dey bear Tawakalitu or sontin like dat.The akata wife wey my friend marry to get Iwe Ilu don dey influence her tinking. Nowadays if I tell Tawa to press my singlet she go tell me to take my mouth touch am for yansh(Kiss her ass)….me wey don dey here long time sef no sabi wetin dat one mean and if na dat kin play my friend dey play wit im wife na im palava be dat but me I no go copy dat kin ting. Dem do small party for my job and as the proud son of my fada I wear dat Kembe with dog ear-ed cap wey you send me go and my wife begin complain of how I no get shame dey wear outfit wey im trouser no cover knee well well go bankwet! Eniwe as she see the look for my face she see sey I no dey gree shenj am and she sef come go shenj and you for see wetin she wear! My moda na the same Tawa wey you write me sey dem take masquerade escort am enta plane be this?Agument begin afta dat becos the ting wey she sef wear no efen reach knee talkless to cover am! Fodamore, she no sabi cook! Why dem no send am go Iya Sule buka make she get small training before dem send am come? Mama when she stir Amala the lumps wey dey inside am big pass Joe Lasisi fist! And her stew nko? ha! E get sontin here wey dem dey call oodus-of-noodus (take style rezembu peppersoup small but E no get maggi or salt) with water wey look like dem juss take am wash hand after chop and na so her stew dey look and taste..and if I no chop am she go vex me! If no be sey I dey use palmwine push am through my troat I for dey starve. How pesin go take Eba chop stew wey dey flow go elbow? Naija food she neffa sabi make finish and now Tawa don dey try cook oyibo food..na so my wife go tanda for kitchen dey look inside book before she troway sontin for pot! The other day he come carry sontin put for my front talk sey na salad…who go follo am chop dat one? Emi ko! Na only goat me I sabi sey dey chop cold leaf….for man like me wey dey proud sey aniting wey people for Lagos sef dey take two or three different pieces of metal chop me I fit use one hand do am you know sey this one don pass me…her time don reach O! Moreofa…she no dey siddon for house for efening again sha! Na so her akata fren go come carry am commot for house waka go..so for two days I follo dem. One day like this I follo dem enta one building wey inside one glass room dem line up and all of dem come dey jump up and down for notin! The place dey one kind funny sef…dem bicycle get pedal but if you use am the ting no dey comot for the same spot! The nex time I follo dem na anoda surprise I get……I no sabi wetin I do this akata woman wey wan come turn my wife into AJEBOTA finish O! Regular shoe no do am again na the one wey get tire underneath she come dey take waka for the place! I no know how dem fit dey do am sef…I try am afta dem comot and na so so yansh man pikin dey take nak for ground. She efen come get odasiti to tell me sey ma agemates dey chop iron (lifting weights)….sey me I no get any yams for leg. Mama me I no know O…but I feel like sey make I return am. I no sabi wetin she dey take soup money but as the kin food she dey chop no show for im bodi.The same Tawa wey we dey call’Samba’for Omi Adio come dey look like sey I dey suffer am…her trademark extra large yansh don run enta finish O! I suspect dat place wey she dey go jump but I no wan make she know sey I follo am..her neck no big pass ostrich own and if I say make she follo me chop pounded yam with assorted meat take pammy wash am down like wey dey do for Omi Adio she go begin complain sey fat dey inside! chei!!!! For my own house I no fit light my pipe inside as she don carry ‘No Smoking’ sign put for parlor!Tawa wey no read pass primary two don dey blow the kin englich wey I no dey understand wetin she dey talk and she no dey practice with the sewing machine wey I buy am again…how she go get job like she get for Naija for here? Mama abeg gif me adfice as this one don tire me…..if to sey na
Asake I carry come na E no go be like this..Asake no
go shenj and she dey hear word from ma mouff….abeg reply in time…
Na me, your son
Kasali

Ibadan Big Girl’s Phone Book

*Iya Deji alaso
*Nuru eleran
*Kamoru Onigi
*Iya Monsurat elepo.
*Iya Lekan eleja
*Saidi onisu
*Iya Ijesha oniru
*Basiru oni moto
*Sola omo baba Basira
*Basira oniponmo
*Suraju olokada
*Oriyomi alalubosa
*Bose Tailor
*Gbenro agbero
*Noimo olororo
*Iya Luku Oloka
*Akanke alakara eebo
*Sola tisha
*Baba Wale Nepa
*Iya Biliki elepo
*Baba Aduke alagunmu jedi
*Iya Wasiu onifufu
*Morufu riwaya
*Iya Olobi agba
*Baba Tawa alajo
*Alani kafinta
*Buroda Tunde birikila
*Moomi Oloole
*Buroda mi Alani
*Iya mi elesuru
*Baba ilu eebo
*Bello Olopa jeko jeko
*Suberu ologbon ori
*Buroda Yellow
*Baba elero alogi
*Solo agbegi lere
*Grace pupa
*Poolu asona
*Baba onifoto
*Gambari onisuya
*Demola Fokanaisa
*Godi omo ibo
*Alhaji agbe kanga
*Baba gbegi lodo
*Biodun repeara
*Risi olonje
*Alao alawin
* Bra Tosin alaso eebo
* Luku inta net buloga

I can’t laugh alone jooooo!!!
Add yours….